Character Moment #31 – May 14, 2008

Mrs. Young shared an article with me recently that came from the San Diego Tribune. The article, an opinion piece, was titled, “High school scandal.”[1] I would like to it with you today.

“'Our worst technological nightmare has just occurred,” the memo began. The assistant principal at Rancho Bernardo High, Keith Koelzer, described how eight Advanced Placement students hacked into the school's network, stole tests, altered grades and changed transcripts. “They are all smart,” he concluded, “but they have no wisdom.”

He recounted the heartbreak of one boy's parents, the shamed silence of an uninvolved classmate who knew a month earlier but did not speak up.

This scandal has clouded eight bright futures; it has disgraced Rancho Bernardo High and the acclaimed Poway Unified School District. While an embarrassed district tried to hide the scandal, don't place the ethical failure on the schools. Remember, “It takes a village to raise a child.”

By contrast, an ethical success story has occurred each year since 1990 in the East County. The East County Chamber of Commerce and Grossmont Union High School District bring 150 high school seniors and 40 adult facilitators together for a morning of discussions on ethical situations. The lead case study this year was from Harvard in 2005. Some 119 high school seniors used a stolen password to peak in and see if they had been accepted for admission. Some 119 seniors lost their Harvard careers to an ethical lapse.

Doug Deane, president of DSD Business Systems of San Diego, is ethics program director. Next year's ethical dilemma, he expects, will be from Rancho Bernardo High.

Typically, on issues like this, Deane said, “The kids have super-optimism, that they will not get caught. They have a sense of entitlement, they deserve it.” Typically, their support system fails them.

The ethics program, while unique, costs under $1,000, and Deane and the East County chamber are quite willing to share.

Children learn ethics from adults: coaches, youth organization leaders, Sunday School teachers and more. They also learn from peers. What if a classmate had had the courage to speak up?

It does take a village.”

A great story for us to think about. We can help one another develop our character when we hold each other accountable.

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[1] http://www.signonsandiego.com/uniontrib/20080504/news_lz1ed4middle.html

Character Moment #32 – May 21, 2008

As I think about our last two character moments of the year, this week and next week, I reflect today on a couple of events that have recently happened that underscore the importance of striving to have excellent character.

Over the weekend I was in my hometown in Kansas attending my nephew’s high school graduation. On Saturday morning I made a trip to Wal-Mart to buy a few things. I went through the checkout line and paid for my purchases and then went out to my car. While I was putting things away in the car I noticed that I had an item in my cart that I had not paid for.

It would have been easy to get in the car and go home, but I couldn’t do it. I went back into the store and paid for the item explaining that I had taken it out by mistake. The lady said three or four times, thank you for your honesty sir – thank you for your honesty. It made me think that she probably saw more dishonesty than honesty during a typical day. For me, it was a no brainer. God won’t bless our deception.

Saturday was also a special day in that our boys’ track team did something that no other boys’ track team in 35 years had ever done – it won a CIF championship. At least we thought we did. After the CIF reviewed the meet, it realized a judge had made an incorrect ruling when he had disqualified a runner from another school. Those points, when given back to the school, put us in second place.

I received an email from Coach Preus on Monday morning explaining the situation. He said…”I believe that this is the right call. If we were on the other side of this, we would feel wronged. We have a sport that allows 48 hours to right these wrongs. While I am disappointed that the mistake was made, I agree that (they) should get what they earned.” In this morning’s Orange County Register, he is also quoted as saying, “"The last thing we want to do is win a title in which someone was unjustly disqualified from an event." In fact the head of the meet, Mr. Bob McGuire, called me this morning and said the reaction to this turnaround of events by Mr. Preus and the track team shows, “no better example of what we are trying to do as a school.”

Very classy. And that is the way it should be. It was the right response in a disappointing situation. We want to take the high road in all things, striving to be a people who are honest. Class and dignity will bring you great blessings in life and will make lasting impressions on those you meet along the way. When you choose to do the right thing, you’ll have no regrets!

Character Moment #30 – May 7, 2008

A great lesson in character occurred on April 26 at a women’s softball game between Western Oregon and Central Washington. It was a league game between two universities battling for a chance to go to the playoffs. It was senior day for Western Washington.

In the top of the 2^nd inning, Western Oregon had runners on first and second and a seldom used senior named Sara Tucholsky came to bat. Now Sara had never hit a homerun before, but this time she really connected and the ball sailed over the fence. Her teammates were ecstatic until they realized that Sara had fallen down after touching first base. She had planted wrong and had blown out her knee, and was now beyond first base lying on the ground, writhing in pain.

The other two runners crossed home plate, but the rules were interpreted by the umpires that Sara had to touch all the bases for it to be ruled a homerun. If a member of her own team touched her the homerun would be nullified. Sara would have to get to all the bases without the help of her teammates. The only problem was she could not move. Her coach was going to have to substitute for her and her hit would be ruled a two-run single. Just before he spoke to the umpire, another voice spoke up and said, “Excuse me, would it be OK if we carried her around and she touched each bag?” That voice came from Mallory Holtman, the career home run leader from Western Washington, the opposing team.

Mallory and fellow teammate Liz Wallace picked up Sara and carried her to every base, gently touching her foot to the bag. They carried her home, and helped her achieve her first homerun. People that watched the situation cheered and cried because they knew it was even bigger than they had witnessed.

You see, Mallory was a senior too and this was her last chance to make the playoffs in her career. When she helped Sara get home, she did so in spite of the fact that her team would be down by three runs. Mallory and her teammates played the rest of the game to win, but they came up one run short, losing 4-3. Because of their kindness and outstanding character, their team did not advance to the playoffs.

After the game Mallory said, “"I think that happening on Senior Day, it showed the character of our team. … granted I thought of it, but everyone else would have done it. It's something people will talk about for Senior Day. They won't talk about who got hits and what happened and who won; they'll talk about that. And it's kind of a nice way to go out, because it shows what our program is about and the kind of people we have here." [1]

It is great when we hear about people who let their character direct their priorities. What a great lesson for all of us.

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[1] http://sports.espn.go.com/ncaa/columns/story?id=3372631

Orange Lutheran has a new Principal

Mrs. Leslie Smith has been named as the new principal of Orange Lutheran High School. Mr. Scott Fogo will become the new Assistant Principal. God has led us two great leaders.

Character Moment #29 – April 30, 2008

A friend of mine told me a story recently about their visit to a restaurant a while back. Sitting close by at a table was a group of high school students. It was a mixed group (guys and girls), and they were just hanging out. They spoke loudly at times, and he could over hear that the language they were using was laced with profanities. It was not a very attractive sight. At one point another customer came up to them and reminded them that they were in a public place and that their language was offensive. The students reacted by rolling their eyes, not saying anything directly, and really trying to ignore the admonishment. My friend said it looked like some in the party were embarrassed and others were too cool to look that way. Pretty typical for some kids when they get caught messing up.

I believe we have those moments in our life when we get a chance to put our character training to the test. It is in those times that our true character comes out. Out in public, on our own, where nobody knows us, we let our true character shine through.

I think it is easier to follow the rules per say in an environment where you know someone could be watching, like here at school. The ability to resist acting in an inappropriate way is sometimes easier in that environment. Our true tests though are when we are out in public, where we act a certain way because that’s who we are, not necessarily because we are supposed to act a specific way.

Think back to those times when you go out with friends in public. How do you act when there are no parents or coaches, or teachers around? Is it consistent with the model that you want to portray as a child of God?

Many of you will have a great opportunity to show your true character this weekend as you attend the prom. You will interact with many people who will only know you through what they see you do and hear you say. Let your witness be a light to those around you.